Love at aol
First date
It's real simple!
Humor
Love@AOL
Humor
Blind date bloopers
10. Pull up for your date driving a hearse. 9. Shave your head and wear ratty clothes. 8. Bring the neighbor kids and claim them as your own. 7. Immediately ask for money as soon as your date opens the door. 6. Bring your amway stuff prepared for that one big sale. 5. take your pet but ask your date to carry the pooper scooper. 4. Enhance your given gifts but fill them unevenly. 3. Leave a self help book on your dash entitled ''How to cope with paronoid schizophrenia''. 2. ask how they dwelt with their first STD. and the #1 no no on a blind date is Drive several blocks out of your way saying a restrainingorder prevents you from a quicker route.
My First Blind Date
Years ago when personal ad's in the paper were booming. I came across an interesting ad. So I decided to answer this ad. This being my first time at answering anything like this I did not know what to say. So on the note I put ''Hi my name is Jim give me a call at XXX-XXXX. Well I got busy with other things in my life and forgot all about this ad. One night i get this call. She talked for about 20 min as if we were old lost friends. Finally she laughs and say's ''you don't know who this is do you''. I had to admit I didn't. She reminded me of the note I had sent her a month earlier. Well we laughed and talked for couple hours. We planned on meeting the next day. I had to call her and cancel and set another date. We had set 3 or 4 more dates over the next couple weeks. For what every reason she had to cancel or I did. Finally I called her for a date the next evening on my friends boat. She agreed and gave me her address and time to pick her up. Next day at work, my coworkers razed me all day. Saying I was crazy to be taking a gal out I had never seen or met before. Needless to say but the end of the day I was starting to feel the same way. But a promise is a promise, so off I go to pick her up. I get to her street and drive past the house slowly. Nice big house but kids toys all over the front lawn. On the third pass I said to myself "don't be so stupid just pull in the driveway". So I did, got out of the car and walked the maze around kids toys and dog droppings. Just before I knock on the door I'm thinking it's not to late I could still take off. But then again gone this far may as well continue. Just then the door opens and as I go to speak I see this most beautifull gal standing in front of me. I struck gold, o my. As I'm still standing there tongue tied, she say's o you must be Jim, come in. As I walk through the door I hear her yell out "helen you're date is here". My gold had just vanished. Helen then stuck her head around the corner and said she would just be a min. I did not get a good look at her but looked to be soft to the eyes. Just then this little girl about 4 or 5 years old came running down the stairs. Ran up to me, wrapped her arms around my leg, looked up at me and said "you going to be our new daddy". Well at that point I look at the door thinking I could still make a run for it. Just then Helen came out and pride the little girl off my leg. I now could see Helen and she was not a pot of gold but she was a pot of silver. We went on our date and had a good time. I have another story I will share with you on my "Second blind date" that did not go as well as this. lol
by gomerjim
My Second Blind Date
Well my first blind date went so well I thought i would try a few more from the paper. I get this phone call from (we will say) Linda. We talked for about an hour descibing our self and interests. Suddenly she says "I want to meet you. Can you come up to my house now. You can spend the night. If you don't want to sleep with me you can sleep on the couch." She lived about 20 min away in the next town. I was starting to get bad vibes here so I started making excuse's. My car was broken down, had to be home tonight to give my room mate a message from work, etc. With each she had an answer. I finally agreed to meet her for coffee a block down the street. I told her what I was wearing and where I would be seated. I was half way through my coffee when I see this car drive in just like she had described to me. As I'm waiting I notice there are 2 girls in this car but neither are coming into the coffee shop. About 15 min later I finish my coffee. I go out side and walk over to the drivers side and asked her if she was Linda. She said yes. I said to her, thought you said you were a blond She admitted she lied. This pissed me off because I don't like liers. She asked me if I knew of a bar we could go for a drink and get to know each other. By now I'm not to excited about this gal but believe in giving everyone a fair shake. After I agree she tells me to get in the back which I did. As we start off down the street the second girl starts to talk. I realized very quickly this gal was not all there or was on drugs. Linda spots a bar and says lets go there. This was a bar where friends of mine would be at so I said no that place is a dive. I took her about 6 blocks away to a bar where my friends and I would go on a friday night. When we pulled into the parking lot it was near empty. Thought to myself, good no one here being a week night. Aswe get out of the car I see Linda wearing a big heavy fur coat. The wind blows it open to show me she is about 40lbs more then she told me. Second lie. As we walk across the parking lot linda informs me I have to buy both of them drinks because they had no money. I'm thinking ok, 1 drink and we are gone. I open the door for them and as I follow them in the bar is quarter full. Make matters worse 8 of them are good friends of mine. I shuffle the girls to a small table away from my friends. The waiter comes by takes our order. The girls ordered the most expensive drinks in the place. By the way she still wearing the big coat. I'm getting really ticked. I excuse myself for a min as I was going over to say hi to my friends since they were yelling across the room. I asked my friends if I could get a ride home with them but they all had excuses and laughed at the same time. One of my female friends said linda could not be that bad and went over to my table talking to linda and her friend. She came back laughing saying you got a couple real winners there. Just then the waiter came up to me wanting more money for the second drinks the girls were having. I had barely had a drink out of mine. I went back to our table and the 2 girls were almost finished thier second drink. I stillhad half of my first drink. Then the waiter showed up with 3 shooters my friends had bought for us. I knew what my friends were up to. This night was getting worse by the minute. I wanted out of there. So I told the girls to drink up, we had to go. My friends all came over as we were getting up to leave laughing trying to get us to stay. Linda out of no where says "jim's coming to my place and the weather is getting bad". At that point I would have takena cab home but they had drained me of my cash. As we drove out the parking lot she asked how we get to the hwy that goes to her place. I was in luck, she was lost. I gave her directions that lead to my neibourhood. She realized where we were and asked again if I was coming to her place. I was polite and explained a bull story again that I had to see my roommate. She said ok and wanted to drop me at my front door. I tried to get her to drop me at the coffee shop but she would not stop. So I had her go around the block and dropped me on the back street. I cut throught the back yard to my place. For the next 3 days she would keep calling. I was trying to be polite with her. The last story I gave her was my old girlfriend and I were getting back together. She still at that wanted to see me. Then she treaten she was coming to see me. I lost my cool, told her what I thought of her and our first meeting then hung up on her. She continued to call and my roommate finally told her he had through me out. After this experence I was very carefull in screening themwell before meeting them, lol.
by gomerjim