Cybersex reminds me of those 900 numbers, where men and women would spend hundreds of dollars to talk with someone about their sexual fantasies. What I really find amusing is that on both ends of the telephone, usually the people are not what they portray themselves to be. They may be overweight, and say they are voluptuous, they may be inadequate in performing the sexual act, but have an extremely sexual imagination. It has been my experience that anyone who talks about how good they are in bed, and what they would like to do to me if given the chance, are usually just full of crap. There is a big difference between desire and cybersex. Desire is wanting to be with a person because you want to be closer to another person. It involves sharing of thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams with another person.

Desire leads to intimacy and can touch the spirit, mind and body of another person. Cybersex is lust, which does sometimes touch a person's body, but never quite reaches the mind or spirit of another person. I equate cybersex with obsession and desperation.

Frankly, I find it offensive for some man who is emailing me , to send me smooches when he has never tasted my lips, or for him to describe what he is going to do to my body to throw me into screams of ecstasy!

What he will never understand while he is busy with the mechanics of the sexual act, is that I am turned on more by the way he treats himself and others, the way he carries himself, and the degree of restraint he is able to show in the face of frustration. A man's character turns me on more than any physical tweaking of my body he might be able to make me visualize.

Understanding yourself is a key to finding what you want through the internet personals. If all you want is the play, you can certainly do so through the internet dating services. For anyone who is serious about finding a relationship that leads to commitment, indulging in cybersex might be considered at best, a waste of time, and at worst, self-destructive.